790 The Ticket

Disclaimer: These are just strictly my opinions based on listening to the radio in this area for 50 years. Nothing stated here is a fact, just my opinion as a listener. I do not know any of these people personally, and they may all be the most wonderful and conscientious citizens on earth. Maybe their colleagues think they are the most talented. I only know my side of it as a listener.

790 The Ticket is the other sports radio station in South Florida. There used to be an ESPN station at around 1490 on the dial, but it did not last long. 790 The Ticket has been around for over three years. A big reason is that they partnered up with The Miami Herald and have put several Herald columnists like Dan Le Batard, Greg Cote, and Armando Salgeuro on the air regardless of talent. This is a rundown of 790 The Ticket. It starts with the owner of the station, Joel Feinberg:

Joel Feinberg, the outspoken owner of AM sports talk station 790 The Ticket, has been charged with beating up his fiance on October 23, 2007. Feinberg and his fiance had been staying at the Carmel Valley Ranch Resort. Deputies are not sure what sparked the argument, but they say Feinberg may have ''had a bad day'' at the track. He removed his fiance's $40,000 engagement ring from her finger, pushed her to the bed ''and proceeded to strike her about the head and face,'' according to a press release. The unnamed woman ran into another room, but he kicked down the door, which hit her in the back of the head, deputies said.

Feinberg stormed away, rolling a suitcase and carrying a backpack. He eluded police, their dogs and a roving highway patrol helicopter as he walked through the sprawling 400-acre tennis and golf resort nestled in the Santa Lucia Mountains. About a mile from the resort, Deputy Kevin Hockenhull spotted him walking past a shopping center and arrested him.
Feinberg was booked into the Monterey County Jail. The woman was treated and released from a local hospital.

Feinberg owns the company that leases the radio signal for The Ticket, which has a marketing partnership with The Miami Herald. Feinberg declined to comment. The Ticket had broadcast Dolphins games, but this year the team switched back to its former station, WQAM. Feinberg had sent the general manager at rival WQAM-AM (560 ) e-mails gloating about the Miami Dolphins' 0-3 start. He also surprised observers by recently calling WQAM's Neil Rogers on air and drawing a line through Joe Rose's face on the Ticket's website after the broadcaster moved to WQAM.

Sid Rosenberg hosts the morning show and replaced the terminally boring Joe Rose. Sid Rosenberg used to be the sports sidekick on the nationally syndicated Imus in the morning show. His mindless and generally clueless sports banter contributed little to the show. His off the cuff remarks ranged from claiming that Venus and Serena Williams were better suited for National Geographic than Playboy. His expertise in tennis was reflected with this comment ... "faggots play tennis." and female soccer players are "juiced up dykes."

Six weeks after being released from a substance abuse rehabilitation center, Rosenberg, got into hot water when the show turned to singer Kylie Minogue's breast cancer. Sid, in a fit of utter stupidity delivers this line ... "She won't look so pretty when she's bald with one tit." With IMUS running a camp for kids with ... get this .. CANCER the writing was on the wall for Sid. He was pulled from the Imus show and eventually ended up in Miami doing an afternoon show until Joe Rose got canned. Then Sid took over the morning drive show.

Sid Rosenberg tends to go on too long on some topics. He loves to have porn stars and similar scumbags on his show. He has a four year old daughter and yet never stops talking about porn. He often says that he is the Howard Stern of sports talk. He also has Bernie Kosar on the show nearly every day. Kosar likes to play the role of the millionaire drunken bum, and he plays it well. Kosar's scratchy voice and his dumb remarks detract a lot from Rosenberg's show. Hopefully Kosar will be sent down to The Dos Amigos soon, and Rosenberg can focus on sports. Michael Irvin is also a regular guest on Rosenberg's show. Irvin often has some interesting things to say. Unfortunately, Sid Rosenberg is another ultra-right-winger. Recently he had Ann Coulter on the show so that he could prove that she isn't anti-semitic. Sid Rosenberg is a lot more entertaining and intelligent than Joe Rose, but that is not saying much. Compared to the rest of the morning shows in Miami, Rosenberg is the best, but look at his competition: Ron and Ron, Defo in Palm Beach, Two Girls at Coast FM who spend all morning talking about their TOM and boy friends, the two punks at 93.1 FM who sound like they are about ten years old and can barely speak English and Joe Rose at WQAM.

Jorge Sedano has done some odd shows including a very annoying overnight show where he had a sleazy female co-host and they would talk trash about sports all night long. Unfortunately, 790 The Ticket seems to like trash talk on the radio and Sedano found a home. I do not listen to his show much, but he seems to have some potential for intelligent discussions and occasionally analyzes sports.

Jonathan Zaslow is the producer for Jorge Sedano and Boog Sciambi. Zaslow often is given some time on the radio, and he usually does a good job when he is doing a fill-in show.


Jon "Boog" Sciambi looks kinda scary. He apparently has a weight problem and has to go to some kind of fat farm every year to lose weight. The picture of his ugly face is above a photo of Sciambi working out by trying to pull a rubber band. Boog Sciambi used to be the voice of the Florida Marlins baseball team and then he got fired. Sciambi seems to be a nice guy, but he is really too nice. On the radio he sounds like a goofball. He often refers to the callers as "my brother" and is always talking about everyone being his brother. I guess it is some kind of religious thing, but I find it a bit irritating in the context of a sports show. Sciambi also spends all his time praising everyone. Update: The Booger has gotten a job in Atlanta. Thank heavens he can go annoy people over there. Hopefully he will become the voice of the Braves (ironic justice) and will spend the next 40 years there.

What can be said about Dan LeBatard? He has parlayed an awful sports column at The Miami Herald into a career at ESPN and radio. LeBatard is the perfect clone of the Chris Berman style of comedy sports broadcasting. LeBatard spends every afternoon singing moronic songs about various sports celebrities. He invites the listeners to call in and sing songs about sports celebrities. He has Greg Cote (pictured above, he is the guy who looks like a chipmunk) also on the station regularly and they sing songs to each other. Cote used to review movies at The Miami Herald, but is now some kind of columnist there. Stugotz is LeBatard's sidekick. At 790 The Ticket, Jon Weiner (Stugotz) is also the program director, general manager, and probably cleans the toilets too. Hank Goldberg of WQAM had originally nicknamed Weiner as Stugotz. The Urban Dictionary says: Made popular by the HBO Series "The Sopranos", stugots is from "(qu)esto cozzo" in Italian, meaning "this cock" or "this dick". Often used in reference to someone being an asshole. Perhaps the worst thing about LeBatard is that he has Terell Owens on every week to talk about Terrell Owens. What a waste.

Kevin Rogers is on at night and as a fill-in show during odd hours. He is very informative and he should be on ESPN or Fox or some other national station. Rogers is a very good talk host and I enjoy listening to him whenever he is on. Update: Kevin Rogers finally got a permanent slot. Apparently he is replacing Booger sometime in the mid-day slot. That will be a good reason to listen to AM790. Kevin Rogers does not sing songs on the radio and he is not a single man in his mid-forties fighting rumors regarding his sexual orientation.

Steve "Goldie" Goldstein is one of the worst talk show hosts ever. He used to be on the WQAM morning show as the sidekick to Joe Rose, and they literally would fall over each other trying to see who could kiss the most ass. Every time they had a guest, "Goldie" would be so far up the guy's butthole that Rose would sometimes take a shot at Goldie just so it would not be so phoney and contrived. Goldie also has a high-pitched squeeky voice, and Neil Rogers loves to make fun of Goldie. The Neil Rogers Show would regularly play spoofs of Goldie doing his show. At one point Goldie became the sidekick to Howard David at WQAM, and that had an unhappy ending too. Neil Rogers spoofed the Goldie and Howard David discussions endlessly and Goldie has always been worth a few laughs. If there is ever a bad team or any negative situation involving a sponsor of the station, you could always count on Goldie to come up with some bizarre spin so that he could talk about it as a good thing. Fortunately, Goldie is now the TV voice for the Florida Panthers hockey team and is not on radio as much. Unfortunately, 790 still uses Goldie on weekends and to do fill-in shows.

The Dos Amigos features Larry Milian and Alan Strauss trying to sound like trashy Latinos from Scarface, Que Pasa USA, or Carlito's Way. All the typical slang words are used, and they call everyone BRO-DAY (brother) with the most low-life Latino trash accent that they can muster. Listening to this show is almost funny, as the two clowns will speak in a normal sounding tone of voice and then when they switch to their Latino stereotypes they adopt a heavy gangsta accent and sound like a couple of scumbag coke dealers. Try listening to this crap for ten minutes and then you won't feel bad when Carlito gets killed at the end of Carlito's Way.

Perhaps the best thing about 790 The Ticket is that they have J.T. The Brick on late night as part of their Fox Sports Radio syndication. J.T. The Brick is ten times better than all of the staff of 790 The Ticket put together.

Front Running Phonies

Scooter Libby is writing a book about his life in politics. GW will be writing the clemency section.

Jesse Jackson isn't running for President again, but he is shaking down all the candidates like usual.

Fred Thomspon's main distinction is that he has allegedly had sex with all the women that have worked on Law & Order. His wife is a lot younger than him, and he carries a big wad of money in his wallet.

The odds-on favorite is Hillary right now. She has all the donation money from the big corporations, and all the connections.

She is willing to do whatever it takes to get the black vote.

If you don't vote for her she will assimilate you.

Barack Obama was born a Muslim and now he wants to be president. Money can buy anything in America.

Between a very corrupt woman with a long history of shady deals and a guy who is basically unknown, I would rather vote for Obama.

Senator John McCain and his evil dwarf, Senator Joe Lieberman are both Bush lapdogs. As long as other people are the ones getting killed, McCain and Lieberman will support any war. Like most politicians, their family members are not on the front line.

Rudy Giuliani saw 9-11 as a great opportunity to step up and be in the spotlight. Now he wants to be President. His two ex-wives disagree.

Al Gore used to get a lot of bad publicity, but he has re-made himself so to be more popular. He has also won an Oscar and an Emmy award for some documentary he produced about global warming. In other words, he has no chance of ever being elected.

The new Al Gore is an Academy Award winner!


John Kerry keeps floating around on the national scene like some turd that can't get flushed.

Who are you going to vote for? Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck are probably the best choices, but they aren't running.

560 WQAM Radio

If you live in South Florida, and you listen to sports radio, then you have to hear either WQAM 560 AM, WIOD 610 AM, or 790 AM (The Ticket). All of those stations have some bright spots, but usually they suck. Sports radio in South Florida is pretty bad.

Orlando Alzugaray is on from 5:00 to 7:00 a.m. and on some other odd shifts. Orlando is very well informed about football, and he seems to be the only one who ever goes to the Dolphins facility to watch them practice. He also goes to the draft combines every year and reports on the draft picks. He is the most professional and most knowledgeable member of WQAM. Unfortunately, Jim Mandich had some kind of problem with Orlando, and so Orlando is never on the Dophins first team for broadcasts. Mandich did not want Orlando doing sideline commentary during the games. Orlando is usually doing the pre-game show and usually does not get any talking time with the actual Dolphins hosts. I guess Orlando is not an ass-kisser like Joe Rose and Jimmy Syphillis. The rest of the WQAM talk hosts basically sit on their ass and read stories from the online websites and newspapers. Most of the ex-jocks are also ex-drug-addicts and ex-alcoholics (or in some cases, raging alcoholics), so you get that lazy-ass vibe all the time when they are on the air.

Jason Jackson is the current guy working the morning drive with Joe Rose. Jackson is not very interesting, but compared to Joe Rose he sounds like a genius. Anybody who works with Joe Rose sounds better. Does anyone remember Rocky Pendola?? Even he sounded good next to Joe Rose. Perhaps the worst thing about the WQAM morning show is that they have Drew Rosenhaus on every day to talk about luxury cars and how he is the world's greatest sports agent. I wonder if Rosenhaus has to pay for his advertising segment? Update: Jackson got moved to a mid-day show.


Joe Rose likes to call himself "Bucket-Head" and he is an unfortunate fixture on local radio in South Florida. For years he was on WQAM, and then he went to 790 until they got Sid Rosenberg and let Rose go. Sadly, WQAM picked Rose up again. Rose makes every obvious remark that you can imagine. He asks guests the dumbest questions, like "Have you been to the mall?" He usually asks members of the local teams (Miami Dolphins, Miami Heat, Florida Marlins, Florida Panthers) questions like "Have you had sex yet? Have you met lots of girls down here? Are you finding it easy to hook up? How often do you have sex? Has your wife ever turned you down?"

He also likes to sing his commercials, and his annoying voice cannot carry a tune. Rose thinks it is funny that he is the world's biggest asshole. I guess it is funny, since he has been getting paid a lot of money for many years to do the same moronic schtick. Who can blame Rose for laughing all the way to the bank? I do not listen to Rose now that Sid Rosenberg is on 790 The Ticket. Unfortunately, Rose is now doing the Miami Dolphins radio broadcasts with Jim Mandich and Jimmy Cefalo. This means you will hear Rose say things like "He caught the ball. That was a good catch. He can really catch the ball. He knows how to catch the ball. He can hold on to the ball. He is a good ball-catcher. Nobody can catch the ball like he can." OVER AND OVER AND OVER every time someone catches a ball.

Joe Rose used to play for the Miami Dolphins, and he was a pretty bad tight end back in his day. You could always count on Joe to drop the ball. However, he did catch Dan Marino's first touchdown pass and that justifies Rose fawning about Marino endlessly as if they were best friends. It would not surprise me if Dan Marino has never spoken to Joe and crosses the street to avoid him. Whenever I hear the voice of Joe Rose, I turn to another station or listen to music. This is just my personal opinion, I have never met Joe Rose, and he may be a very nice person but on the radio he sounds like an obnoxious ass. Update: Now there is a new segment on this retard's show. It is called "Did you know, Joe?" and the lame co-producer will ask Joe really stupid questions and Joe will make his incredibly stupid remarks. I guess this show is all about self-parody, "look how dumb I am, making lots of money being a dumb jock."

Neil Rogers follows the morning show. Rogers is on from 10:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. I used to listen to Neil Rogers, but he is a bit boring and repetitive. He loves to refer to Jimmy Cefalo is Jimmy Syphillis. He also used to rag on Howard "Moe" David and Steve "Goldie" Goldstein, but they both left WQAM. Goldie went to 790 The Ticket. Unfortunately, the two sports stations recycle each other's trash, so there is no way to ever be rid of the most awful talk-show hosts.

Rogers has a great deal that allows him to take dozens of days off and during the summer he only works once or twice a week. His fill-in is Jorge Rodriguez who has a droning voice and no sense of humor. Rodriguez used to spend months at a time talking about wife-swapping at some local sex club which was advertising on his show. He kept claiming that his wife did not want to swap out, though he would visit the club with her and "watch." When his wife was pregnant, Rodriguez spent nine months talking about how much he did not want the baby. One has to wonder if Rodriguez was even the father. The other thing Rodriguez talks about endlessly is legalizing marijuana. Like most pot-heads, Rodriguez is incredibly boring to listen to. There is no way to know when Neil Rogers will be on his own show, since he has an endless amount of sick days and routinely uses them. I wonder if anyone keeps a tally of how many days a year Neil Rogers works? Probably "about 30," man.

Jim Mandich follows the Neil Rogers-Jorge Rodriguez show. Mandich is another guy that has a great contract and misses lots of days. His intern or producer, "Captain" Curtis Stevenson mumbles through the show whenever Mandich is visiting Michigan or has other things to do. About half of the Mandich show is spent talking about going to his bar. His guests have usually been to his bar and they mention the bar too. So the Mandich show ends up being a three hour commercial for his bar. He loves to talk about the drinkie-winkie, and I wonder if Mandich has ever been sloshed while on the air? Too bad none of these guys has ever written a tell-all book about their radio daze here in Miami.

When Mandich is on the ball, he often has some interesting things to say about football. Mandich used to play for the Miami Dolphins. He is also one of those rich guys who became a Republican after he stopped working for a living. Mandich thinks that poor kids should not get any government sponsored health care but he is very compassionate about athletes getting compensated for their loss of income when they are injured. Perhaps the funniest Mandich moments happen after every football game when Mandich tries to interview the players. The first week, Joey Porter wanted to bitch-slap Mandich because Porter claimed that Mandich had disrespected him. When Mandich walks around the locker room begging the players to say a few words, half of them just say no. It is pretty funny to hear how so many current players blow off the great Jim Mandich. Mandich was on the Miami Dolphins 1972 undefeated team, and that is his claim to fame. Of all the sports talk show hosts at WQAM, Jim Mandich is the best one after Orlando Alzugaray. Too bad Mandich is on the Neil Rogers schedule (half-on, half-off).

Hank Goldberg is on the station from 4:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m. Hank and Mandich do the power hour from four to five in the afternoon. Hank knows a lot of people in sports, mostly football and horse-racing. When he gets to talking about horses, it is pretty boring (for a non-fan). On football he is very knowledgeable. Sadly, Hank is getting pretty old and he seems to be slipping. Sometimes he starts reading some notes and he sounds like he is lost. Most days, he is pretty good though.

On the days when he sounds off, it is kind of sad to listen. I have been hearing Hank for about 25 years, and I will miss him when he retires. Even though he tends to argue with some listeners, his show is usually entertaining and informative. After first writing this, Hank Goldberg's contract was not renewed, so at the age of 67, fat, bitter Hank is now unemployed from radio. Like Neil Rogers and Ed Kaplan, Hank never had any kids. Update: Fat Hank got fired. WQAM did not want to pay this bitter old guy to hear him be cranky on the radio. Even though most of the other talent is pretty bad, I cannot say that I miss hearing Hank complaining on the radio. No one will miss Hank.

Fill-ins: After 7:00 p.m. the station often puts in who ever they are trying out as fill in talk hosts. It is often people who can barely speak English. These substitute hosts speak Spanglish, Ebonics, or else some kind of slang gangsta jive and I just turn it off. Sometimes WQAM will use former Dolphins players as talk show hosts. Kim Bokamper is very good, and he used to be the morning co-host. Unfortunately, they replaced him with Joe Rose. The picture above is of Kim Bokamper with Don Shula. It is kind of sad to see those guys getting old. I guess we are all getting older.

Ed Kaplan used to host a show at WQAM from 10:oo p.m. to 2:00 a.m. Sometimes he would stay past two when there were games still going on the West Coast. Kaplan is heavy into gambling, and he will talk about the odds on almost anything. When he talks about boxing or baseball, he is very good. Those seem to be his favorite sports. Kaplan is very entertaining on boxing and baseball. He knows some great boxing stories. However, Kaplan is pretty aloof to callers and often no matter what a caller says, Kaplan often ends up disagreeing.

On football, Kaplan is a pain to listen to. He will not discuss draft picks, injured players, or anything that involves any kind of speculation regarding coaching. During the baseball season, WQAM was using Kaplan to do a pre-game show which was much better than the usual pre-game crap that the station does for the Marlins games. I never listen to the Marlins baseball broadcasts because they are so boring. I listen to Kaplan's entertaining pre-game show. Update: Kaplan got canned too. Apparently WQAM is getting rid of all their old people. I wonder from what nursing home he is broadcasting now? Old cranky dudes are not fun to listen too! Update: Ed Kaplan is gone too. Too bad, as he was very good when he did Baseball pre-game shows.

Jimmy Cefalo does the play-by-play for the Miami Dolphins radio broadcasts. He is pretty dull, but at least he usually gets the names of the players right. The TV broadcasts usually has Dan Dierdorff who never seems to know any of the players and often gives wrong information. Cefalo also has a Dolphins show during some week nights. I have heard it a couple of times by accident, and it is pretty dull. Cefalo is not a very exciting person to listen to, but at least he is competent when it comes to football information. He also has some kind of expensive wine store which he advertises during his broadcasts. Interesting that so many of these ex-jocks own bars and/or liquor stores.

The Post-Game Show: Troy Stradford, O.J. McDuffie, and some other former Dolphins' scrubs often host the post-game show. For some reason, it seems like really bad players like Rose, Cefalo, Mandich, Stradford, and McDuffie end up doing radio shows? I guess the good players go to ESPN! McDuffie is famous because he stubbed his toe and couldn't play for two years and then retired. Stradford is basically a bench-warmer who made no impact in pro football. Now they are the football experts on WQAM.

WQAM news updates: WQAM has an endless amount of boring new breaks during which the same news, sports scores, weather information, and traffic updates get repeated for about ten minues every twenty minutes. When you add in the commercials, it seems like the actual talk show hosts are only on for about five minutes every segment. WQAM relies on interns who are trying to become talk hosts. These interns read sports news and other important news. Half the time they mis-pronounce the words and then try to turn the goof into some kind of comedy segment. Hey, it's not funny. Get over it and finish up.


Beano Cook: Perhaps the best thing WQAM has done in years is that they got rid of Beano Cook. Beano Cook used to spend an hour with Hank Goldberg during the football season, and every time I hear his voice I think of a talking lump of shit. Beano Cook will drone on and on about what Notre Dame did during World War II, and then he will have no clue about anything that happened in the past ten years. I have nothing against old guys who look like fat drunks making money, but Beano has been involved with pro sports for his whole life, and he must have some coin by now. So spare the world Beano, and retire. Beano usually sounds like he is talking with a load of gum or marbles in his mouth, and listening to Beano is torture. Thank heavens for 790 The Ticket, and thank heavens WQAM got rid of Beano. Talk about bad gas!

Republican Pervert Arrested

TITUSVILLE - Republican state lawmaker "Kneeling" Bob Allen, who was charged with offering to perform oral sex for $20 on an undercover male police officer vowed Thursday to defend himself in court and said he would not resign from office."I am filing a not guilty plea. I am vigorously going to fight this.'' State Rep. Bob Allen, a co-chair of Republican presidential candidate John McCain's campaign in Florida, said at a news conference, "I am not resigning my office because the people elected me and want me to do a good blowjob. I am going to do a good blowjob for them in finishing this term. I may not be the biggest cocksucker in the Florida State Legislature, but I want to be the best cocksucker.''


Allen called his arrest "an ugly and unpleasant situation that has been thrust on me and my family, like a big hairy penis.'' The lawmaker had sponsored a failed bill that would have tightened the state's prohibition on public sex. "I was just doing some research on how easy it is to give somebody a blowjob in a public place. I am not a faggot myself, but lots of my friends are cocksuckers." Allen choked up when he thanked his teabagger friends who had contacted him to offer their dildos and vibrators. Allen warned people not to jump to conclusions about what happened. "Just because I was arrested offering to give an undercover cop a blowjob doesn't mean that I would have done it. This was my first time. I am a virgin." Allen only spent a couple of hours in jail, so he is still a virgin for now and claims that he is saving himself for the right cop. "I prefer Highway Patrol. I fantasize about being pulled over by a Trooper and then being taken into the woods and forced to do things that would not be proper for a State Representative to talk about with the media. In case anyone wants to know, I am still cherry."


Allen said he could not offer any details about the arrest because of his legal strategy. "My legal strategy is to lie, mislead, and pretend this never happened. I am going to call on all my important political friends and see if the cop that arrested me can get a promotion in exchange for going on an extended vacation. Hopefully this case will be quietly dismissed in a few months." Asked if he could give a detailed statement, Blob said "If I actually tell the truth that would be stupid. Just because I got caught trying to give a cop a blowjob at a public park restroom doesn't mean that I am stupid." Allen says he is not a pervert. "It is not true. It is inaccurate and therefore, it's not guilty,'' Allen said of the case. Republican Party of Florida Chairman Jim Polemonkey said the matter would be addressed in a timely and appropriate matter. "While this is an extremely serious matter, the House of Representatives and the judiciary system have established a process to deal with situations of this nature. We Republicans are well-known hypocrites and lying scumbags. Our Republican Party is replete with degenerate perverts and Blob Allen is hardly a blip on our collective radar.''

Allen's arrest on Wednesday came days after a key Southern supporter of McCain opponent Rudy Giuliani, U.S. Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana, was identified as a client of a Washington, D.C., escort service."It just seems sad and tragic,'' Gov. Charlie Crist said Thursday when asked in Miami about Allen's arrest. Veteran's Memorial Park was under surveillance when Allen was seen coming in and out of a restroom three times, said police Lt. Todd Hutchinson. Allen, 48, then approached an undercover officer and was arrested after he reportedly said "Hey, can I suck your dick for $20? I will take out my dentures and gumm it for you." The Officer had a mild seizure and threw up after taking a good look at Blob Allen. Fortunately, the back-up units were able to conduct the arrest. Allen has been charged with solicitation for prostitution; which has a maximum penalty of one year in jail. Brevard County jail officials said Allen posted a $500 bond and offered to meet the young boys in Juvenile Hall to talk to them about good citizenship. While being transported to jail, Allen told WFTV Channel 9 that the situation was "a very big misunderstanding. I wanted to blow the guy for free. I never offered to pay him. He should be paying me. I am still a hot guy.'' Allen was elected to the Florida House in 2000.

Dog Bites Lawyer Tits

A Fort Lauderdale attorney has sued a Plantation family after he said their dog bit his right nipple. According to the suit, Billy Dickless needs the money to pay for medical treatment, loss of income and for general damages for pain, suffering, physical disfigurement and "loss of sexual comfort and desire. My wife refuses to suck my nipples now, she says they don't look right anymore. I used to have a very active sex life, and my hot body just looks disfigured now because my bitten nipple is pointing sideways. I can't perform sexually anymore, and I am seeing a therapist."

Dickless said he got attacked after he grabbed the dog off a girl who was bitten moments earlier. The suit, filed Monday, claims that Steven Bush, his wife, Cindy, and father, Ronald, are responsible for the March 3rd bite at Mizner Park, Boca Raton's dog park. Dickless is seeking damages of at least $15,000. He estimates in the suit that damages for medical treatment and for general lifetime damages for pain, suffering, physical disfigurement could reach $1 million. "I'm not a litigious person. I was just looking to do the right thing," said Dickless, 31, referring to him keeping Spazz, the 3-year-old terrier, off the girl. "I was just trying to protect this little girl. He was hurting her. She was screaming and crying.""I never, ever would pick up someone else's dog," he added.

Dickless said he was there with his dog when he saw Spazz attack the child and her puppy. Steven Bush took Spazz away but moments later the dog ran back and bit the girl's puppy and then her, Dickless said. Dickless grabbed Spazz off the girl and the dog bit him. But according to the Bushes, Dickless was at fault for grabbing their Jack Russell terrier during a doggie scuffle. Spazz was playing and running around during his first outing to the dog park at Military and Banyan trails, Steven Bush, 39, said. "He's a typical terrier. They tend to be active and can be territorial, but that's normal," Cindy Bush, 38, said of her adopted pooch.


At some point that morning, Spazz and some other dogs got into a tiff, which was quickly broken up. After a while the dogs got into it again."Then Billy Dickless decided to pick up my dog, and he in turn got bit on the nipple," Steven Bush said. "He was kind of like: 'Ow. That kind of hurt.' The Bushes said they didn't see blood on Dickless' shirt and he didn't appear to be seriously hurt. They assured Dickless that their dog was vaccinated and exchanged their information to fax him a copy of Spazz's records. "I got his business card, and that's when I saw he was a shyster," Steven Bush said. "He laid down for a few minutes and was shouting at people to call an ambulance, but everyone ignored him."


Dickless said it didn't happen that way. While still at the park, he asked the couple if the dog was vaccinated. They said yes, but Dickless didn't see a tag on Spazz and he wanted to make sure he was indeed vaccinated. So he gave them his card and asked them to send Spazz's vaccination records. Fearing for the worst, Dickless went to the Shriner's Hospital in Boynton Beach where he got shots. Two days later, Dickless got the records from the Bushes. Dickless wanted them to pay for his medical expenses, including a screening for STDs; but they never did. So he sued. The lawsuit claims Spazz bit Dickless without warning and that the dog had a habit of "viciously biting lawyers and vagrants." But Cindy Bush said Dickless grabbed her dog unexpectedly. Spazz hasn't bitten anyone before or since, said Bush, who adopted the dog a week before he bit Dickless. "We like Spazz. He's good. Any dog that bites a lawyer is special," Cindy Bush said. "We're glad Dickless got his shots, he looked like he had rabies."

Judge Sues Dry Cleaners for $65 Million

WASHINGTON -- The Chungs, immigrants from South Korea, realized their American dream when they opened their dry-cleaning business seven years ago in the nation's capital. For the past two years, however, they've been dealing with the nightmare of litigation: a $65 million lawsuit over a pair of missing pants. Jin Nam Chung, Ki Chung and their son, Soo Chung, are so disheartened that they're considering moving back to Seoul, said their attorney, Chris Manning, who spoke on their behalf. They're out a lot of money, but more importantly, incredibly disenchanted with the system," Manning said. "This has destroyed their lives." The lawsuit was filed by a District of Columbia administrative hearings judge, Roy Pearson, who has been representing himself in the case.

Pearson did not return phone calls and e-mails Wednesday from The Associated Press requesting comment. According to court documents, the problem began in May 2005 when Pearson became a judge and brought several suits for alteration to Custom Cleaners in Northeast Washington, a place he patronized regularly despite previous disagreements with the Chungs. A pair of pants from one suit was not ready when he requested it two days later, and was deemed to be missing. Pearson asked the cleaners for the full price of the suit: more than $1,000. But a week later, the Chungs said the pants had been found and refused to pay. That's when Pearson decided to sue.

Manning said the cleaners made three settlement offers to Pearson. First they offered $3,000, then $4,600, then $12,000. But Pearson wasn't satisfied and expanded his calculations beyond one pair of pants.
Because Pearson no longer wanted to use his neighborhood dry cleaner, part of his lawsuit calls for $15,000 - the price to rent a car every weekend for 10 years to go to another business. "He's somehow purporting that he has a constitutional right to a dry cleaner within four blocks of his apartment," Manning said.

But the bulk of the $65 million comes from Pearson's strict interpretation of D.C.'s consumer protection law, which fines violators $1,500 per violation, per day. According to court papers, Pearson added up 12 violations over 1,200 days, and then multiplied that by three defendants.
Much of Pearson's case rests on two signs that Custom Cleaners once had on its walls: "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service." Based on Pearson's dissatisfaction and the delay in getting back the pants, he claims the signs amount to fraud. Pearson has appointed himself to represent all customers affected by such signs, though D.C. Superior Court Judge Neal Kravitz, who will hear the June 11 trial, has said that this is a case about one plaintiff, and one pair of pants.

Sherman Joyce, president of the American Tort Association, has written a letter to the group of men who will decide this week whether to renew Pearson's 10-year appointment. Joyce is asking them to reconsider.
Chief Administrative Judge Tyrone Butler had no comment regarding Pearson's reappointment. The association, which tries to police the kind of abusive lawsuits that hurt small businesses, also has offered to buy Pearson the suit of his choice. And former National Labors Relations Board chief administrative law judge Melvin Welles wrote to The Washington Post to urge "any bar to which Mr. Pearson belongs to immediately disbar him and the District to remove him from his position as an administrative law judge."

"There has been a significant groundswell of support for the Chungs," said Manning, adding that plans for a defense fund Web site are in the works.
To the Chungs and their attorney, one of the most frustrating aspects of the case is their claim that Pearson's gray pants were found a week after Pearson dropped them off in 2005. They've been hanging in Manning's office for more than a year. Pearson claims in court documents that his pants had blue and red pinstripes. "They match his inseam measurements. The ticket on the pants match his receipt," Manning said.

Pot-Head Judge Gets Arrested

Broward Circuit Judge Lawrence Korda is facing a misdemeanor charge of marijuana possession after city police officers said they busted him for allegedly smoking pot in a Hollywood park Sunday afternoon. The judge played a role in the Anna Nicole Smith case when he briefly handled a small part of the paternity battle over the former Playboy centerfold's infant daughter. Korda, 59, was not arrested but was issued a notice to appear on April 26 in the satellite courthouse in Hollywood.

Court and state law enforcement records show no prior legal problems for the judge so he could qualify for a first-time offender pre-trial drug diversion program. But the allegation he used an illegal drug could result in a complaint to the Judicial Qualification Commission and possible discipline, several legal experts said. If the judicial watchdog agency found his conduct violated judicial rules, he could face a reprimand or removal from the bench. Anyone can file a complaint with the commission. The Judicial Qualification Commission said Monday that no complaint has been filed with the agency so far and, at this point, it is up to Broward's Chief Judge Dale Ross to decide if Korda should continue to work until the case is resolved. Through a spokesman, Ross said he had not yet decided what to do.

At about 2 p.m. Sunday, three officers who were in Stanley Goldman Memorial Park noticed Korda smoking a joint while sitting on the ground next to a tree in the park, Hollywood police spokesman Capt. Tony Rode said. "They said they smelled a very strong odor of what they found to be marijuana," Rode said. "They followed the smell to a gentleman sitting under a tree. He was actively smoking the marijuana cigarette as they approached him."The officers, who were in plain clothes and exercising while on-duty as permitted by department policy, said the joint tested positive for marijuana, Rode said. The judge, who lives in Hollywood, was cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession. Police records said Korda had one marijuana cigarette. The officers did not know who Korda was until they asked his profession. "He at no time asked for preferential treatment," he said.

Korda was elected to the bench in 1978 and has worked in the Family Court division for more than a decade. He also served on the juvenile bench. Korda has been accused of insensitivity. All of Broward's judges had to attend sensitivity training last year after a series of events involving several judges. The final straw, said leaders of local minority bar associations, was a December 2005 incident when Korda berated a woman seeking a restraining order for speaking her native Spanish instead of English. Korda eventually apologized.

Lisa Metellus-Hood, former president of the Haitian Lawyers Association, and a critic of Korda's, said she thought clients appearing before Korda might be disturbed by the marijuana allegation."Probably the public would be more taken aback because as judges, their job is to chastise people and tell them what to do," she said.

Observations: Smoking marijuana should probably be decriminalized, especially when you consider it is a natural weed that once grew all over America. Some of the founding fathers allegedly smoked pot.

That being said, you can't ignore the hypocrisy issue. Here is a longtime judge (since 1978) who at some point in his career has probably sent at least a few people to prison for drug use, and yet he is a life-long reefer addict. In Family Court, he is deciding child custody issues and the fitness and character of parents. How does he rule when parents are regular drug users?

I doubt this judge is buying his weed off the streets, and more than likely his connection is dealing drugs to other judges and important people. It is probably somebody in his social circle, not a street-dealer. So why is there no concern about this? Can you imagine how much influence a judge's illegal drug dealer can have over a judge? Can you say CORRUPTION?

Unfortunately, here in South Florida, law enforcement always turns a blind eye to the obvious. If Law Enforcement in South Florida had any balls, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement would be trying to arrest this judge when he is making his next drug buy. Maybe will lead to other community leaders who are also illegal drug users? At a minimum it will get one drug dealer off the streets. It would be interesting to find out if the judge's dealer ever used his power over the judge in order to influence judicial decisions?

Of course, if marijuana were legal, the judge (and anyone else) could smoke dope without having to buy it from drug dealers, and without directly or indirectly supporting organized crime. Not to mention that the state and federal government could generate hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue by taxing marjuana.

Raul Masvidal Fingers Miami

Developer Raul Masvidal, one of Miami-Dade's most prominent civic leaders, appeared with his lawyer this morning at the state attorney's office to face felony charges that he siphoned tens of thousands of dollars from the county's housing agency to buy himself a sculpture of a giant watermelon slice.

He lashed out at two key witnesses in the case, Julio Larraz, a Miami artist and Masvidal's childhood friend, and Ron Hall, a Texas art broker. "The only reason why I am being indicted is because there are two liars. ''I think that once they look into their papers and look into the lies that they are telling, I will be exonerated,'' he said.

Masvidal also slammed The Miami Herald, which broke the news this morning that he would be charged by authorities. ''I have been tried in the court of The Miami Herald; I have been convicted by The Miami Herald and taken to the gallows today by The Miami Herald,'' Masvidal said.
A former banker whose ties to local power brokers span three decades, Masvidal is charged with grand theft and organized fraud. If convicted of the first-degree felonies, he could face as many as 30 years in prison.
According to investigators from the Miami-Dade inspector general's office, Masvidal used county money to buy a $150,000 watermelon sculpture titled Mars.

Masvidal, who once farmed watermelons in Puerto Rico; allegedly concealed the purchase by submitting a fraudulent invoice through a failed housing agency construction project he was managing. ''What a great disappointment,'' State Attorney Katherine Fernández Rundle told The Miami Herald. "He was a respected member of our community. But he turned on his community. He turned on his friends.''

Masvidal's defense attorney, John Thornton, said his client will plead not guilty. "We look forward to revealing all the facts in court. He has committed no crime.'' Masvidal is the second developer in recent months accused of stealing money from the Miami-Dade Housing Agency while thousands of poor families scraped by in decrepit rental apartments, public housing or homeless shelters.

Masvidal is among at least a half-dozen people brought under investigation since The Miami Herald's House of Lies series last summer revealed chronic misspending and insider deals that allowed developers to reap millions of dollars for affordable housing never built.

Commentary: The photo included is of Raul Masvidal as he was turning himself in to get booked. Obviously, since the scumbag is rich, he did not actually spend any time in jail awaiting a bond hearing. He just walked in and walked out. That is how corruption is resolved in Miami.

Calmaquip Exec Gets 6 years

Raul J. Gutierrez, Jr., the former head of Calmaquip Engineering is sentenced to six years for his role in bid rigging in the construction of an airport in Trinidad and Tobago.

An overflow crowd packed federal court Tuesday to hear a judge sentence Miami Cuban business executive Raul J. Gutierrez Jr. to six years in prison for his role in the rigging of an airport contract bid in Trinidad. Gutierrez, who was the president of Calmaquip Engineering, remained silent as U.S. District Judge Paul C. Huck sentenced him for wire fraud and bank fraud. Gutierrez also faces nine months of house arrest and five years of probation.

Gutierrez and five other defendants pleaded guilty last year to charges stemming from a scheme to charge inflated prices for construction work at the Piarco International Airport in Port-of-Spain by submitting a sham bid. The illegal proceeds were then moved through a web of offshore companies and bank accounts in order to conceal the scheme. Besides the wire fraud, Gutierrez was sentenced for a bank fraud scheme that involved borrowing money from Miami banks, claiming the money was for equipment costs but actually using the funds to pay off other loans or for his own expenses.

The case represented an epic fall from grace for Gutierrez. Gutierrez was the son of a Cuban exile; Raul Gutierrez Sr., who acquired and built up Calmaquip in the 1960s and 1970s. Gutierrez did not speak on his own behalf, but court documents cited problems with alcohol abuse and the judge ordered substance abuse treatment in prison.

The case also signaled cooperation between the U.S. Attorney's Office and the government of Trinidad in trying to cut down on corruption involved in international business deals. The courtroom was packed with reporters from Trinidad and lawyers representing other defendants, the Trinidad government and local banks.

Two other defendants were also sentenced for their roles. Richard Lacle and Leonardo Arturo Mora-Rodríguez separately told the court of their remorse for their involvement in the scheme. ''I recognize the grave damage of corruption on our societies that contributes to increased poverty,'' said a letter from Mora-Rodríguez.

Judge Huck gave him a reduced sentence of six months of prison and six months of house arrest. Mora-Rodríguez also must pay $100,000 in restitution. Lacle was sentenced to 15 months, three years of probation and forfeited two properties in Pinecrest for carrying out ''structured'' money transactions to avoid bank reporting requirements.

Trinidadian authorities have charged that the airport scheme pushed up the construction price by millions of dollars, and prosecutors have placed the restitution for Gutierrez at $22.5 million. A Trinidad court should decide in April whether to extradite two final defendants in the case, Steve Ferguson and Ishwar Galbaransingh, both of whom are fighting extradition. (excerpt from article by Jane Bussey)

Commentary: Yet another example of the Cuban Exiles living the American Dream via corruption and illegal business activities.

Fatal Hit and Run Miami Cop

A Miami-Dade police detective has been jailed on charges that he fled the scene of a fatal hit-and-run accident that led to a six-car pileup in Davie in October. Broward County prosecutors say Michael Alayon, 28, left an early-morning car accident on Oct. 10 after he rear-ended his 1998 Lexus GS300 into a 1992 Chevrolet Blazer driven by Ryland ''Rick'' Nye on I-595. Nye, 54, of Pompano, was thrown from his truck and died instantly.

Alayon's charges stem from a probe by the Broward State Attorney's Office, the Florida Highway Patrol, the Miami-Dade State Attorney's Office and the Miami-Dade Police Department. Alayon faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted of the charge, a first-degree felony. During the investigation, detectives found that after leaving the scene, Alayon attempted to cover up his role in the crash by reporting that his car had been stolen the previous evening during a burglary at his home. Miami-Dade officials are still investigating the case to see whether additional charges are warranted.

''We're investigating the fact that he made a police report about his car being stolen and his home being broken into which would appear to be false if he was driving his car at the time,'' Assistant State Attorney Michael Von Zamft said.

News of Alayon's arrest brought some relief to Nye's family. ''Justice needs to be served -- what more can I tell you?'' said Randy Nye, 47, who lives outside Gainsville.